Hand of Sorrow
by Katalia Chernikova
Summary: AU: There are two types of families: the rich and the poor. The poor serve as guardians to the rich, and the rich handpick them for themselves, but... what happens when a servant falls for his master? Rating may change over time.
1. Part I

**A/N: Greetings, everyone. This is the first Hetalia fic I've ever written, and I literally got the idea for it just last night. It was inspired by, and takes its title from, the song Hand of Sorrow by Within Temptation. I'm sorry if some characters seem OOC; as I said before, this is my first attempt at writing in the Hetalia fandom. This is also crossposted on Archive of Our Own, if any readers here frequent there as well. I hope you all enjoy.**

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The rich knew how to live, the poor knew how to protect, fight, and serve.

When a boy became a man, it was then he chose a guardian.

Such was the day the life of Feliciano Vargas truly began.

Feliciano came from a rich family, one that was well-known and held in high regard due to the legendary escapades of one member, known simply to all as Ancient Rome. Ancient Rome was known as the greatest warrior in the world, and his guardian was known as the most devoted to ever live, that pale, strong Germania. Together, their influence had been powerful, and they had practically controlled the world. Everyone had easily bowed to their command, willing to do anything they could to content them, but the people were always so happy to do so. The world was happy, at peace with itself. However, all grand times came to an end, and this time ended when both Rome and Germania suddenly vanished. Nobody had known where they had gone, and they had never been seen again.

However, to Feliciano and his older brother Lovino, Ancient Rome hadn't been just another member of the Vargas line. To them, he had been their grandfather, and it had been heartbreaking to be told he had just disappeared. Lovino had been, and was still to this day, convinced Rome and Germania had died, but Feliciano... Feliciano held no such belief. In his heart, he felt that his grandfather was still alive, that he and Germania were probably conquering other worlds since they were so mighty! There was no way a man such as Rome could be taken down so easily!

However, since Rome had disappeared when Feliciano and Lovino were children, they had had no other caretaker, and therefore the strange, musical Roderich Edelstein had taken them in. It was with him, then, that the two children had grown up and matured. Since Lovino was older, his time to choose a guardian had come and gone two years ago, and he had set off with a most interesting man, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. Feliciano had heard from him from time to time, but it was not really as often as he would like...

Despite this, today, the day of Feliciano's twentieth birthday, was the day he himself would finally be able to pick a guardian and venture off on his own. And now, as he walked down the hallway with Roderich's beautiful wife Elizaveta, thoughts of simultaneous happiness and nervousness began to flood his mind. Just who would be waiting in the parlor for him? How many would he have to choose from? Would he like whoever he chose? Would they like him?

"Feli, how are you feeling?" Elizaveta asked, smiling serenely at him. "You've been quite excited for this, haven't you?"

"_Si!"_ Feliciano declared, using his native tongue of Italian. Despite living with Roderich for so many years, his accent was still heavy, and it came out in his speech. "I am so excited, _si! _I have been waiting for this ever since Lovi picked his!"

Elizaveta laughed and ruffled his hair slightly. Only a few minutes passed before they were in front of the parlor, and she gestured at him to enter. "Your visitors are here," she said. "Go and see them, little Feli!"

Feliciano gasped excitedly and instantly darted into the parlor, surveying the men before him.

There were seven visitors in total, and they all seemed a bit too much like him for his tastes. After all, in order to be an effective guardian, whoever was chosen had to be opposite to their master in more than one way. He remembered Lovino drilling this into his mind when he was younger. Lovi had always been incredibly passionate about this; he had always looked forward to the day he could choose his own guardian... and Lovino's words echoed through his thoughts as he looked out among the men. There were a few with brown hair, one with white hair (that one looked kind of scary, he didn't think he'd go for that one), and one with blond. Feliciano met eyes with this man, his warm, rich brown irises boring into the man's cold blue ones. The man wore a stern look on his face, and his hair was slicked back, and Feliciano could tell just by looking at him that the man was well-built. A large smile made its way onto the young man's face, and he pointed at the blond man.

"I want this one!" he exclaimed happily. "He looks scary; he can be my guardian!"

Almost as if by cue, the unchosen men stood and departed the parlor, and Feliciano's chosen stood and knelt at his feet.

"Ludwig Beilschmidt."


	2. Part II

**A/N: Thank you to all who's read this so far, your reviews are quite lovely! :D This chapter is practically two times longer than the first one, and I apologize for that xD I hope you enjoy this one as much as you enjoyed the first one!**

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The poor knew how to protect, fight, and serve, and the rich knew how to live.

When a boy became a man, it was then he became a guardian.

Such was the day the life of Ludwig Beilschmidt truly began.

The Beilschmidts were a poor family, one that had served as guardians for centuries. The men of the family were raised from birth to prepare specifically for the day they were chosen, trained in the art of fighting, both physical and verbal. Contrarily (or perhaps, along with them), the Beilschmidt women, whenever one ended up being born, were trained from birth to serve as companionship for women from rich families, such as close friends or even lovers for those who were alone.

However, there were no women in this generation, and it was only Ludwig and his brother Gilbert. Gilbert was older than Ludwig by a fair three years, but unfortunately, he had been rather unlucky in being picked, always being passed over for someone else. This year, however, Ludwig would join him, having turned twenty only a few short months ago. There was one thing the two siblings had in common in their hopes of being chosen: to someday become as mighty and strong as their grandfather, the legendary guardian Germania. There had been no other guardian who had been as mighty as Germania, nor any that had held any success even slightly comparable to his. Ludwig in particular wanted this same success. He had always wanted to be strong, to outshine Gilbert, who, by default since he was older, had always been looked to as the one to bring success to the family. No one had ever expected anything from Ludwig, but rather than being discouraged by this, instead he was motivated, motivated beyond all reason to become nothing short of this generation's Germania. It was a goal that he had had since he was a young child, and it was one that he would continually persevere until he met it.

He had been raised by Roderich Edelstein as well when he was a child; after Germania had disappeared, he and Gilbert had been separated, and the two children had been sent to live far away from each other. However, he had left the house when he was still young, out in search of Gilbert, and the two had raised each other together ever since after that point. Unfortunately, Ludwig had no memory of his childhood other than being told Germania had most likely died, and regaining the memories of afterwards was also a goal he had in mind. Perhaps becoming a guardian would help him trigger some of these lost memories... if he was even chosen...

These thoughts swirled around his mind as he stood outside of his house with Gilbert, the two eagerly waiting for the wagon that would pick them up and carry them to their destination, wherever it might be. He glanced over at his brother, whose face wore a faintly forlorn expression. As much as he loved Gilbert, Ludwig hoped that he wouldn't end up like him, masterless and waiting for so many years.

"How do you feel?" Ludwig asked him. Gilbert's expression immediately changed, as if he was trying to hide his true feelings, and a cocky smirk appeared instead.

"Awesome as always!" he declared. "I'm definitely going to get picked this time; nobody can resist my aura of awesome for long!"

Ludwig sighed. For some reason, even though he was never chosen, Gilbert always seemed so optimistic about the next time. Always... He wondered how someone like him could remain such a way, especially since normal men would get discouraged after a while and choose to attempt to chase down a woman instead. Then again... Gilbert wasn't exactly normal.

"I hope that you are picked, just as intensely as I hope that I am," he stated, his blue eyes shifting back to stare at the horizon. Conversations with his brother always became so exhausting so quickly, purely because of the sheer size of his ego. Surely, if he was as awesome as he professed, he would have been chosen already.

"Of course I will!" Gilbert proclaimed, bumping a fist against his chest. "I'm clearly bred for this! A strong body, a strong mind, never to be defeated as quickly as most... I'm perfect for this job!"

Ludwig said nothing, rolling his eyes a bit. Clearly, his brother was getting their traits mixed up. Ludwig was the one with the strong body and mind. He could be considered what most would call silent yet deadly.

No more words passed between them, and after a few moments, the wagon finally pulled up to a stop in front of their house. Ludwig and Gilbert climbed on, and as soon as they were settled, they began to drive off. Ludwig raised his head and surveyed his surroundings silently, as a true guardian would do.

There were five other men in the wagon, and they all looked alike: brown hair with similarly colored eyes. They all looked to be physically weaker than Ludwig, as if they were the runts of their families, sent to be gotten rid of as soon as possible. They also all looked a bit petrified; he could practically see the fear coursing through their veins. Clearly, they had never been subjected to this sort of thing before. He could see Gilbert incredibly tempted to speak, but they all knew that they were supposed to remain silent. It was an unspoken law in the world of the guardians-to-be. They were not allowed to speak unless they were chosen, and even then, they were only allowed to say their name and nothing more, not unless their master specified that it was acceptable.

Time that seemed like hours passed, and the bumpy wagon ride was less than comfortable. Ludwig wished they were there already; this was already incredibly annoying. As if by cue, the wagon stopped, and the men were let out. Ludwig jumped down onto the ground then looked up at the house at which they'd arrived. It seemed strange... oddly familiar in some sort of way...

The front door opened, and a young woman rushed out, looking slightly ruffled. "Oh, you all must be the ones Roderich asked for," she said. "Follow me inside."

The small group of men did as she ordered, all traipsing into the house as if they were being led to their deaths. For some reason, the general attitude of the guardians-to-be was terribly negative; Ludwig could feel it as clearly as he could feel the clothes on his body. He looked over briefly at Gilbert, at the smirk he wore on his face, at the way he was staring at the woman leading them. Ludwig had to resist the urge to smack him, or at least, reprimand him; this was most likely why Gilbert would never be chosen as a guardian...

The woman lead the group into the parlor of the house, where chairs had been laid out for them. "You may sit here and wait," she said, smiling sweetly and gesturing at the chairs. "I will send in the young master in a moment." She then nodded her head and left the room, leaving the men in silence to sit.

Piano music reached Ludwig's ears as he sat in the front row, his posture stiff and straight, his eyes directed forward. His mind drifted as his heart raced, but he could feel the music calming him, its gentle notes and melodies wafting through his thoughts, setting everything at ease. While he may not have known much about music, he knew that whoever it was that was playing it had nothing less than extravagant skill. He could listen to this all day; it would do well to lull him to sleep after a while. He had never truly listened to music in such a way as now, and it was peaceful...

...all until a loud, perky, masculine voice reached his ears. _That must be the man who is going to choose us,_ he immediately thought, returning all his attention to this moment as his heart began racing out of nervousness once more. A figure bounced into the room, and Ludwig was surprised by his appearance.

Auburn hair, large, bright brown eyes, and petite. He would have almost passed for a girl if it weren't for the fact that his hair was so short. A long, thin curl of hair sprouted from the side of his head, and the look was almost adorable. That is, it would have been adorable if he were female, Ludwig thought.

The man looked over his visitors with a thoughtful expression, his eyes slowly scanning the proposed. Ludwig heard Gilbert tense up in his seat, as if he was struggling with all his might to be seen without actually making any gestures. This would be it for Gilbert, Ludwig knew. If he wasn't chosen here or at any other time this year, he would be retired from going up as a guardian, instead being encouraged to seek out a woman to start his own life as a family man, and Gilbert most certainly didn't want that.

Suddenly, the bright brown eyes reached Ludwig, meeting his own gaze. The young German could practically feel his own heart almost stop in anticipation; would this be it, would he be the one, would the other man finally make his choice...?

"He looks scary enough!" the man declared, surprising Ludwig with a thick Italian accent. "I want him as my guardian!" With a bold flourish, he pointed at Ludwig, a massive smile on his face.

At this, all the unchosen men stood and immediately turned to leave. Gilbert gave Ludwig's shoulder a shove (there was anger behind that shove; he could feel it) before finally leaving with the others. After they had gone, Ludwig knew it was his time, and he stood himself, being almost a full head taller than his new master.

He walked over and knelt before the young man, his head down, and he spoke a mere two words:

"Ludwig Beilschmidt."


	3. Part III

_**A/N: Hello, everyone :3 I am so sorry this has taken so long to write and update (almost three months, good lord). Life has been extremely hectic, and my muse for this story sort of died out until very recently, about two days ago, in fact. I'm actually really surprised that it already has 16 follows and 9 favorites; thank you guys so much for reading it so far! Of course, I always love reviews, both the praising and constructively criticizing kind. I realize I can't write Germany all that well yet; it's taking time for me to figure out and get used to his character. I'm really enjoying writing Feliciano, though. Anyway, that's enough from me, I hope you all enjoy this third chapter!**_

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At last, the guardian was chosen, and there would be no separation of the two. There would be no separate stories for them to tell anymore; their whole lives would be spent together from this point on, until the day death came to claim them. This fact circled around inside Feliciano's head as he looked down at his new guardian, knelt before him, his eyes at his master's feet.

"Ludwig?" he repeated, smiling. "That's a lovely name! Stand up, Ludwig, my feet aren't that interesting!"

The taller man picked himself up, standing up straight and looking down at him. Feliciano looked over him; now that they were alone, he could get a really good look at him. Hm... Ludwig was finely muscled, he could tell, and the expression he wore on his face was strict, stern, entirely serious. He was the perfect vision of a guardian. This was going to be fun! "Well, since you told me your name, I'll tell you mine! I'm Feliciano Vargas, and it's a pleasure to meet you!" Feliciano stuck out his hand at his new guardian, and it was a moment before Ludwig shook it. His grip was firm, and Feliciano almost cringed at the strength behind it. Well, he'd certainly chosen well already, hadn't he? Already, he was impressed!

When Ludwig didn't respond to his greeting, Feliciano looked up at him, his face contemplative. It was clear that the other man took his job very seriously; unfortunately for him, Feliciano himself wasn't all that much of a serious person. He had a job already: get his guardian to loosen up a bit. It wouldn't be so much fun if everything was a serious matter! "Ah, Ludwig, you can relax!" he declared. "I'm not a scary guy! In fact, I think you might be scarier than I am!" He let out a laugh, watching Ludwig's face for a reaction. Nope, there was nothing. Not even the slightest quirk of a smile. Well, perhaps he was a bit unsure of himself? No, he seemed quite self-confident... Perhaps he was a bit unsure of his master? Yes, that had to be it! "I know I don't look like much, but I'm really something!" Feliciano exclaimed. "I mean, I'm not all that great at fighting, but I'm really good at art, and music, and I can make the meanest pasta you've ever tasted!" As he said this, however, Lovino's voice sounded in his mind once again, telling him that those were not suitable for a master to know! It was all about combat! If you could not fight alongside your guardian, you were useless! Despite his discouraging thoughts, he gave the biggest, brightest smile he could muster, closing one eye as he looked up at his new guardian.

Still nothing. Hm... This was going to be a bit difficult. Feliciano returned back to his original stance, biting his lip a bit. What would he have to do to get this guy to at least give a little smile? "Are you hungry?" he asked. "Come on, I'll make us food! You'll never want to eat pasta from anyone else once you've had mine!" Ludwig nodded, and Feliciano smiled again. Finally, he'd gotten some response from the man. Well, of course, he'd offered him food! Nobody in their right mind would turn down food!

Without really thinking about what he was doing, he slipped his hand into his guardian's, and began pulling him through the house down to the kitchen. Ludwig's hand was larger than his own - well, that was to be expected, he was taller than Feliciano, after all -, and it was pleasantly warm. That was good. Feliciano always liked someone whose hands were warm. They always seemed so much more warm-hearted than someone whose hands were freezing cold all the time. He remembered that during his childhood, Roderich's hands were cold, and he always hated when he would be disciplined by them. But at least, Ludwig didn't seem like that! He probably really was a nice guy!

Once they reached the kitchen, Feliciano grabbed the ingredients he would need in order to make his beloved dish, and set himself to making them. He almost always made pasta entirely from scratch; it tasted better that way to him, same with the sauce. Storebought stuff was just never as good. After a moment, he looked back at Ludwig, who stood behind him and was merely watching him in silence. "Ludwig, you don't have to stand in here," he declared. "You can go sit down if you want! I mean, I don't mind you standing behind me, but your legs must get tired after a while, don't they?"

"They are fine." Ludwig's voice rang out in a deep baritone, heavily accented. It caught Feliciano off guard; he'd only heard the man speak once before, and he wasn't expecting him to speak again. "It is my job to be near you at all times, is it not?"

"Of course!" the Italian replied, happily kneading the dough he'd mixed. "I was only thinking of you, after all!" Of course, if he really wanted to, he could give Ludwig a direct order to go sit in the dining room, and the man would have to obey... though he didn't really want to do that. He wasn't the type to go around delivering orders; that was just mean! He wasn't like his brother, going around and demanding his guardian perform every single little task for him. When Lovino had chosen Antonio as his guardian, he had remained at Roderich's house for an additional week before setting off, and the entire time, he had ordered the poor Spaniard around as if he had been nothing more than a slave. Antonio hadn't seemed to mind it much, and Feliciano loved his brother, but there was no denying the fact that Lovino could tend to be a jerk quite often. Feliciano didn't want to become like that; he wanted Ludwig to like him as much as he could!

As he continued to prepare the food, he began humming a tune merrily, one that he had made up on the spot. Normal people would probably get a little creeped out at someone who continued to stand behind them and watch them even after they'd offered them to sit, but Feliciano could even admit himself that he wasn't like normal people. In fact, he was already enjoying Ludwig's presence even if the larger man wasn't speaking much. He set a pot full of water on the stove and set it to boil, then moved on to preparing the sauce. As this occurred, he wondered just what it was Ludwig was thinking. He'd already observed that the German was a quiet type, the strong, silent sort of man. What went on in that man's head?

Feliciano's own thoughts were interrupted by the perky voice of Elizaveta. "Oh, Feli, you're still here?"

The Italian looked over his shoulder and grinned broadly at her. "Of course! I'm making food for me and my guardian! He said he was hungry, so I'm making us pasta!"

Elizaveta laughed as she walked over to the two men, stopping in front of Ludwig and looking up at him. "So this is your guardian?" she asked, a small smile on her face. "He looks good. What's his name?"

Before Feliciano could answer, Ludwig dropped to one knee in front of the woman, taking her hand and pressing a small kiss to it. "Ludwig Beilschmidt," he replied in the most formal of tones. Elizaveta's face showed pleasant surprise as she looked over at the Italian, who was smiling widely. Wow. Ludwig really _did _take his job seriously! The way he greeted her showed nothing short of absolute respect!

"Well, isn't he a darling!" she exclaimed, looking back at the blond man. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ludwig! My name is Elizaveta, and I am the master of the house's wife." She looked back over at Feliciano. "I can tell already you've chosen well. I'm proud of you."

Feliciano's smile only grew larger at this, and his heart fluttered happily with pride. That was good! He'd always wanted to impress someone, and now it seemed he finally had! "Ludwig is already showing to be very protective!" he declared happily. "I already like him!"

"I take my duty very seriously," Ludwig said. Feliciano saw his eyes were on the floor; why were they there? Oh, yes. He remembered. Guardians could only lock eyes with their masters when they were directed to do so. He remembered this from Roderich telling him; apparently he had had a guardian once himself when he was younger, but for some reason, they had separated after a while. "I will protect the master with my life. I will bring honor to the name Germania."

Elizaveta gave him a gentle smile. "Good," she said. "I have faith that you will." She pulled her hand out from his, her cheeks slightly reddened. Feliciano couldn't see why; after all, Ludwig was being nothing but polite... Maybe she just wasn't used to it. After all, back when everyone had met Antonio, Lovino had been too busy barking orders at him instead of introducing them properly to him. "I will leave you two now," the woman continued, "and I will inform Roderich of what a wonderful choice you've made, Feli."

"All right!" Feliciano replied with a joyous laugh, going back to preparing their food. Elizaveta's fading footsteps told him that she left the room, and he heard the shifting of clothes as Ludwig stood back up in order to resume his earlier position.

The rest of the time in the kitchen was spent by Feliciano babbling on to his new guardian about different topics, from how to choose the best pasta to how wonderful of a brother Lovino was even though he was really mean at times to how well Roderich could play the piano and how much he loved hearing it back when he was a child. Ludwig remained silent all throughout it, which didn't bother the young Italian much. He did wonder, however, if he was possibly annoying him; that wouldn't be new. Feliciano somehow managed to annoy everyone he talked to for an extensive amount of time, the only exception being Elizaveta. Elizaveta really had been an asset to him as he'd grown up; she was like a mother to him.

Finally, however, the pasta was done, and Feliciano loaded it onto two plates. He shredded fresh parmesan cheese onto his plate and began to do the same for Ludwig before realizing that he didn't even know if his guardian even liked it or not! He looked back at him, the German looking as stoic as ever, and asked, "Do you want cheese on yours? Parmesan is wonderful on pasta!"

It looked as if Ludwig wasn't going to answer once again, and as Feliciano turned around again, he heard that deep voice once more. "I am afraid I have never had it."

Feliciano's eyes widened in wonder. Ludwig had never had parmesan cheese before? How in the world was that possible? He himself couldn't imagine life without it! That was it, this was going to be Ludwig's first new experience, he thought as he began rigorously shredding cheese onto the German's plate. "I really hope you like it!" he exclaimed. "It's absolutely delicious! Once you've had this, you'll never want any other pasta ever again!"

In a moment, he was done, and after replacing everything back where he found it, he picked up the two plates and began heading towards the dining room. He was practically skipping as he went along, excited at the prospect that he was sharing something with his new guardian! He always loved sharing things with people, especially food; he loved showing his strengths and having them appreciated! He only hoped Ludwig liked it... He had no idea what the man had eaten regularly before this, and a thought suddenly struck him: what if Ludwig had never even eaten pasta before?

Once he had reached the dining room, he set his plate down on the table, then Ludwig's next to him. "Come on and sit down! It's time to eat!" he said excitedly, sliding into his seat and beginning to eat ravenously. It was a moment before Ludwig joined him, and thankfully, he began to eat of his own accord. Feliciano practically bounced in his seat as his guardian ate, and actually stopped eating to gauge his reaction. "So? Do you like it? How is it?"

Ludwig set his fork down after he swallowed his last bite and looked over at Feliciano, making eye contact for what was probably the first time since he was chosen. Feliciano was surprised by how intense Ludwig's gaze was; it was as if he could see right down to his core with those unblinking, icy blue eyes. It was weird... and kind of scary, actually.

"It is very good," the German answered. "I like it."

Feliciano's face brightened at this revelation. Yes! He'd finally gotten a positive reaction from him! That was his first goal! Ludwig definitely liked him at least a little bit in order to like his food! That was good! "I'm glad! I hoped you would!" He let out a laugh and resumed eating.

The two stayed like this for some time, Ludwig eating more slowly than Feliciano. The Italian's mind was buzzing with plans for tomorrow. They were going to leave tomorrow, he had already decided. But where would they go? Who would they meet? And most importantly... what did Feliciano want to do with his life now that he would be officially on his own? Ludwig would be around him for the rest of his life, until someone was killed... oh, that was an ugly thought; Feliciano didn't want to be thinking about that. Perhaps they would conquer the world together, becoming the next Rome and Germania! Except this time, they wouldn't disappear. But... who really knew what would happen? That was something to be discovered tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow... the day when he would officially leave Roderich's house to never return.


End file.
